Hi fth, Sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad. You are still just starting this, you will have days like this but they will become less and less as time goes on. I know how you feel because I have (and still do) feel the same way at times. I have found that, no matter how badly I wish for something or want something or even pray for it, I just don't have the power to make anyone feel anything. There's just no way to do it.
I never thought I would hear my W say she wanted a D. NEVER. She had come from a family where her parents went through a bad D and she swore to never put her kids or herself through that. Then one day (b-day) it all changed. Nothing we do, nothing we say can make them go back. We sure can make things worse but there just aren't any magic words that will make things better.
Just let the feelings pass through you. You can't stop them but you can manage your way through them.
We're all thinking of you fth. Just remember, someday this will all be a memory. You just need to get past today!
