UGH! I just want to say, STOP BEING A F'ING COWARD! Stop blaming me and making me look so lame when I was your biggest supporter in your life. I was always there for you. I was your family. Your only family. You never said a word about being unhappy- EVER! You suck. I hate you! Stop acting like it was me or us. It was you, you f'ing pig. You and your hww!
S17 let him know that xyz would be different for him if xh hadn't done what he had. He told him that his life would be much different and much more productive if xh hadn't ruined so many lives.
xh has been very selfish. I hope he realizes this. For him to ask if he would rather have s17 have xh unhappy here is such a cop-out. I mean, c'mon. Really.
Ay, yay yay!!!....I step away for 10 minutes and BOOM went the dynamite!!!
Ok, Miss Might. Breathe.
He's not happy. You knowit. I knowit. He knows it. And hww knows it but we aren't going to give that mess any more of your precious attention. Ok??
It hurts to hear them say what horrible people we were and we ruined their lives.
Remember, Might....my girl, my girl....what ever he says to s....or you, or anyone.....has this man been truthful? Has he been honest? Do YOU believe he really felt that way back then? Of course not.
He lies. He lied. He covers his lies in lies and he can't lie his way out of the mess he's in so he keeps lying until one day he'll be lying....well, I'm not going there.
There is no credibility to anything he says. Let it roll off of you like water on duck feathers.
uR said something to me about this recently.....are you going to put stock in the opinion of someone who has made so many poor decisions for himself? And place any value in what he thinks? Don't give him that. Nope.
I'm glad your son had a chance to tell him how he feels. I hope your s can let it go and not fester into more anger. S has a long road of recovery and forgiveness ahead, poor guy. D too.
Ok, well all of you, (or as they say here...."all y'all".... But this city girl doesn't sound like that).
I digress ..... I hope all of us and our kids can move forward and live peacefully.
Go run around the house like 5 times and yell "I'm freaking awesome!!!"
Mighty, when my xh and I were going to tell my son he was leaving, we discussed exactly what we were going to say. No blaming, nothing negative about the other. We stood on the steps and shook hands.
We then went downstairs to tell our son. My son made a sound I will never forget. These are the words he heard when he found out his family was being torn apart. "I am leaving because of things your mother did and didnt do in the marriage." Yep, right under the bus I went.
My son ran out of the house. I looked at my h and said, "I dont think there are words to tell you what I feel right now. Scratch that, there are words, but you arent worth the effort." He said, "I'm so sorry. I didnt mean it that way. I will explain it to son." I said, "It doesnt matter what you say now. He will always remember the first words heard when his world was turned upside down."
Your son got stuff out. I hope it helps him. But you expecting it to have any effect on your xh, isnt healthy for you. They are broken, M. I mean really...who does what your h has done?
You saying anything to him would just be you spinning your wheels. Truthfully, he isnt going to hear it.
As far as the ow...she cant shine your shoes. She isnt worthy of one thought in your head, M.
So, let this sit. Leave your xh and her to their pathetic lives. Let them blow in the wind.
Mighty is in for some changes.....yahooooo!!!!!! You are going to rock them.
You don't have to apologize for being angry at your ex at all. There is such a thing as justifiable outrage.
To put in the most simplistic terms your ex is an arsonist.
He keeps setting fires to your world. When he chose to have an affair, get that woman pregnant, move in with her and have a family with her...he burned your world to the ground and there was nothing anyone could do but watch your future burn.
If someone maliciously set fire to your house no one would be surprised if you refused to forgive the arsonist.
That being said, I think you have handled this entire situation remarkably well. My husband was an A$$ but your husband rules as his king.
Your husband is a pretty mean guy. I say this because the lack of empathy he keeps showing for how he has destroyed (and continues to destroy) your family's life.
Case in point: His most recent conversation with your son. It was unconscionable. After your husband destroys your life with his affair he has the unmitigated gall to defame your role in the marriage.
He continues to display an unbelievable lack of character.
I do not care if he thought you were an unloving wife. Chronic harpy. Frigid lover. Or compulsive spender.
He cheated on you. He brought another woman into your bed and got her pregnant. He broke the most sacred of your wedding vow and he knows this. If he had an issue with your behavior then he should have addressed it. Working through problems in a relationship is expected. What is not expected in taking a lover.
You need to understand that your anger is justified.
A terrible wrong was committed against you and it needs to be acknowledged.
Whether you realize it or not what you really want is your husband to acknowledge this.
AND HE SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
But he won't. And he won't because he is a self-centered child.
How do I know this?
Because he is blaming you for the destruction of the marriage---when he was the one setting up house with his lover while married to you!
Be angry. But in your anger also be wise and see him for what he really is.
And by the way: Your response to his text was spot on.
How hatefully awful, Mighty! I am so very sorry you and your kids had to go through that. It sounds so much like "the talk" my H and our sons had. It burned then when it happened to us, and it burns just reading your sitch.
Mighty, what Shining said. You are freaking awesome.
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
