It is time for change! I am just not sure what that means.... but.... I'm working on it.
Here is a little bit of not so much change...
I decided this morning to let xh know about some of s17's events from last week. I sent a text this morning.
XH responded with the whatev of... I knew something... just keep me in the loop.... I don't know why you haven't told me... he is trying to use me.... but I'm not going to tell you why...
OK, So here was my initial response (which I didn't send)
I haven't told you because:
1. The kids say you are irrelevant. 2. You have no say in disciplining them. 3. They don't respect you. 4. You weren't around for months and when they needed you, you were preoccupied. 5. You told me to leave you alone. 6. The thought of you makes me sick- let alone communicating with you. 7. The thought of you discussing my kids with your sweetheart enrages me and makes me want to beat the f--king $h!t out of her. She is not worthy of knowing one thing about them. She disrespected my kids, me, my family- YOUR FAMILY. (And she should not call herself a mother because no good mother would do that to a family- YOUR KIDS!)
Sooooo... instead, I said:
I'm sorry I haven't communicated everything. That's is why I let you know today.
That's all. See, I'm a good girl, right? Well, no response- as expected.
Anxiety is through the freaking roof. But.... it will get better, because its TIME FOR CHANGE!!
(See how I did that?!) OK, coming here definitely helps. Thanks.
