When I said do as if your problems were solved, I was referring to the section that asked "what would you be doing w your time if all your problems were instantly gone". That made me think of so many other things I would be doing if I weren't dwelling on my marriage issues.
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
I'm really struggling with the emotional roller coaster. ..... I workout every day, I have read 6 books in past two months (up until this year I only ever read 2 books completely in my life!), I went back to martial arts classes 2-3 times a week and still have moments I want to break done and cry , feel hopeless and just want to give up, and sometimes feel like lashing out. Maybe I should see a Dr and get some meds
Anyone have any other suggestions?
Last edited by dying; 10/06/1410:48 PM.
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
Get a C. With the martial arts, go into the meditation side of it. Do breathing exercises to get your mind in a state of peace. Learn to let go of control.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
definetly get a C. i know when i see mine, for a little while after, i feel a little lighter emotionally. choose who is best for you bit if you are religious, its always best to get one that is a christian as when you speak of your faith, you won't get the fish stare. i like that mine challenges me on the BS that i have told myself for a long time and didn't even realize it. best of luck. you are not alone!!! if anything else, this ordeal has opened my eyes to the fact that so many people have debilitating pain like this and I have never bothered to notice it before. i find myself being more empathatic to others suffering which is very cathartic. especially if they know you are hurting and you reach out to them and say "hey, you ok? anything i can do to help?" for me, if i'm helping someone else, i don't hyper-focus on mine. so, dying, reach out partner, to someone, anyone, you'll be suprised at the outpouring of care! just don't let your significant other see or hear of it!
M40 XW35 M11 T15 S9 D5 Bomb 6/3/14 Papers del 10/3/14 D final 12/5/14
I wish I could love you and make you believe it 'Cause that's all you ever wanted From me
Our counselor is willing to do individual as well....but hesitant. We have one at work but he isn't very helpful (went to him a few times) because he pretty much just says "I can appreciate you feeling that way and certainly understand how u feel" over and over but just re phrases it haha I'm not religious at all, so that won't help. I just have to keep telling myself that I am worth something and keep positive thoughts. It just heart breaking to keep away because I feel like I'm being so cold and I'm doing exactly what I don't want to have done to me .
I have been chatting with my sister as her and her husband went through a very rough time several years ago. It's nice just to have someone to vent to. She lives in south Carolina so I don't actually get to see her much
Last edited by dying; 10/07/1412:25 AM.
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
yes but if you are not careful your sadness will come through during your interactions and not leave a positive impression. who wants to hang with a debbie downer? its tough trust me i get it but its something YOU HAVE TO DO! what i've started to do is type out the texts i want to send and then delete them or talk into the phone like they are answering and we are having a pleasant convo. even in these fake texts and convos i make a point of not bringing up the R. so over time it gets easier to not bring it up in person. just one of my coping mechanisms-but like you the emotional roller coaster rolls on-sometimes with only two wheels on the track. remember its only over when you accept that its over.
M40 XW35 M11 T15 S9 D5 Bomb 6/3/14 Papers del 10/3/14 D final 12/5/14
I wish I could love you and make you believe it 'Cause that's all you ever wanted From me
Sometimes she looks like she wants to say something or is expecting me to say something (like tonight when she went to bed). But she just said "hope you have a good night" (I work 3rd shift) and I just tell her the same. I SO badly want to hug her, kiss her, and tell her that I love her (which I haven't done in a few weeks)......I feel like I should ask if there is something she wants to talk about....but the other side of me says "no, this is a 180....don't bug her and keep pushing to talk".
How do I know if I'm doing the right thing? It's taking a lot to hold back. It's definitely a LITTLE easier than it was a couple months ago. .....but really hard!
me-42 w-33 d-3 together-6 m-4yr 6/1/14-w check out 6/15/14-EA? 8/1/14-mc 9/1/14-IDLY-started DBing 9/15/14-w suggest separation 10/17/14 wife is done 12/13/2014 - wife move out me file 1/1/15
""no, this is a 180....don't bug her and keep pushing to talk"."
That's not a 180. I think you need to go back to read the book. 180s are changes in bad behavior that the WAS didn't like in terms of the M. If you're messy, clean up. Things like that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
