Ok, emotionally I'm doing alright... But the recent and drastic change in communication, barely hearing anything from H is bothering me. Like, a lot. I know it shouldn't.
I'm catching myself making up reasons for the quiet, wondering what he's doing, or if something happened, knowing it doesn't matter.
It's different, though. I'm not panicked. I'm not snoopy. No.....it's more like, I'm hoping he's not in pain. I'm hoping he's taking care of himself. I tell myself he will do what he does. Then I try to distract myself and move on to something...anything else.
Kids and I ate dinner together, which was nice. They were laughing and making up poems about potatoes...doesn't everyone?
Then they googled poems about potatoes, and lo and behold, they do exist. This turned into a full-on poetry reading. It was all silly poems I had never heard. Until S16 started reading one that sounded a bit familiar....a dramatic reading of the lyrics to the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air".
Tomorrow D13 gets another phase of braces.... So we got pie. It made sense at the time. Don't judge.
I'm heading out for a walk to get my mind off of H. It is hard not to reach out. But I won't. I simply feel the need to complain about the struggle.....and hope for a "me too" of validation.
