Indeed she has been cuckolding me...but that is basically the case in any affair.
Only when the betrayed spouse knows, and his cheating spouse KNOWS that he knows, and he continues to just "wait" for her, knowing she's going off with OM.
Does that mean you have to divorce them immediately, or you are being a cuckold? No. But you have to be clear that their current behavior is UNACCEPTABLE to you, that you will NOT remain in an open marriage, and you are beginning to MOVE ON with your life, and you hope she will decide very soon because you won't wait forever.
And then you begin moving on. Legally, financially, GAL-wise, emotionally -- everything.
