Magingmagic, where'dja go??

[ericmsant2]

MM,

First off I was thinking that maybe…just maybe…I was confusing your sitch with someone elses. I’m only human after all. So I went back and started to read your threads….My first observation is that amount of disagreeing you did/do with a lot of other posters. They respond to your post, you tell them you they are wrong, they point it out, you tell them you are wrong. The only poster that you do not disagree with are the ones that disagree with you.

That said…….

Off the top of my head there are 4 things that were stated that were not fact.

See below and my response….using YOUR words…none of the below is anything that I or any other poster said…these are all your quotes. Hopefully, you may be able to see why I posted what I see…..or the items on the list that you claim are false. I ran out of time, and only used your first few posts, if you think this will help, I’ll go through all of your MLC posts and show you the similar quotes from you. In all cases, these are YOURS words – not mine or no onese elses it is the only thing anyone here has to go on…..

1) that he is not offering a long term monogamous relationship & hasn't for 20 years

How do I not appear as "waiting"?

he says that maybe h just needs to come out from all the burden on his shoulders of our business situation

Monday's convo was also about I will not wait and didn't think he should either

20 years ago he asked me out... but it first took for me to have interest. Teach me the right incentive !!! PLEASE !!... He even expected me to be the only one to pursue even SEX!

I try hard to please him, its never good enough. I am afraid to displease him as he will... ?? never marry me?? Never want me?? Never be good enough??... all the above and more!

I know this isn't healthy, and I have no clue where/how to begin.

he would consider marrying me. So, I have been caving in to his requests/demands, etc....for that to happen. Pathetic eh?

Ok, not married because he is chicken? I was 26, he was 29. H is chicken of marriage, but assumed it would one day "just happen" or not... he's not a big fan of it, because his parents split after 25 years.

Years and years of pleading, leaving clues, many discussions... overlooked.

I am feeling worried that my h is possibly keeping me baited to continue in our business. Keeping the carrot dangling (reconcilliation).

knowing who my h is.. baiting & carrot dangling is what he does. I just am realizing that he may be doing this to me now too. Never saw it before

Yes, part of his sales tactics is to bait/keep on the hook (he did this for marriage

Again, he would not commit and does not want to be held accountable.

2) that he is not going to put my name or complete our business deal. That I will wait & wait & wait.

Several of my new friends say that he is cake eating as he knows I am "waiting" .... how do I stop "waiting"

He is sooo focused on the business turning around so that we can be in a better place financially

I will wait for him to place me back into his life... this is a NEW change for me.

So, I am on his schedule. This does not feel good.

I have been invested and keep investing in hopes of our reconcilliation. I am kind of bullied here and am on eggshells still trying to please him.

I don't think its a poor business decision, but it is a poor personal decision for me.. which is why I think its surfacing NOW.

His intentions are to pay me what the business owes me first (initial investment value). He insists on this. Then again, he wants to buy more inventory first. GEEZ.

He has suggested that due to our business needs that I come over (tonight) and we can work together on our product so that it can be ready sooner.

3) that he is not allowing me to have my money to buy a house

4) abusive relationship (this may have been stated based on the above statements) .

Below are YOUR quotes and what at least for me, led me to make non “factual” statements re: abusive and selfish behaviors/relationships. Based on the below….if you feel that I have misunderstood your quotes, of if you believe that the below quotes are not signs of an abusive R….I am not sure what is abusive.

He is a workaholic and would reprimand me for having a life.

My councellor even called me a doormat.

I normally cave to his calls/requests and eagerly jump to his needs.

as I have been a doormat for too long.

This is so unlike me to not be a doormat and be availabale to him and all his demands of me.

And I have been a doormat to his wants and needs for 20years. Every aspect of our rel'p I have catered to his needs from sex demands to how I do the dishes.

Thank you again Mr Bond for your reply... however, trust me, I was a DOORMAT (and still might be), and didn't realize I was being one.

As for not treating me well…… Things like high work expectations, not speaking pleasantly, not appreciating me, demanding of sex on his terms, not physical/affectionate towards me, not wanting to spend time with me anymore, etc. Never happy with me or what I was trying to do. Hard to please.

Yes, within our relationship he did treat me like a doormat & I allowed it. Not suggesting this is good, AT ALL.

It was not fun for me, and yes he was very controlling.

I have been and still am "CONTROLLED" by him

I wake up and have been living my life in fear of not pleasing him. This is not healthy.

He makes all the judgement and calls of when, how, where we do business. I JUMP!

which led to me being a doormat.

I find him selfish. Always has been.

He just dangles the "carrot" on my behaviour, and frowns upon my efforts. I try hard to please him, its never good enough. I am afraid to displease him as he will... ?? never marry me?? Never want me?? Never be good enough??... all the above and more!

I know this isn't healthy, and I have no clue where/how to begin.

I have been a puppet, therefore have not been detached.

let me also add, h is usually frustrated and this also makes its way to me

its this kind of stuff that keeps me on eggshells.

Yes, I am a doormat (I cater to his whims/demands and act based on his emotions).

HE IS EXTREMELY STUBBORN & selfish.

yes, I am afraid of doing the wrong thing... for years... because I was always told it was the wrong thing!

You also said over and over that you were piecing…interesting enough, you said this today….

You cannot just jump back into a full blown relationship again... Hence, 'piecing' and "take time", "do not rush, be patient" are plastered all over this website.

For the record…this is your X time piecing according to you (once again…I am using what YOU wrote)..see below..

please respond: is this piecing?

You eventually I THINK came to realize that you were not piecing but as usual…..just a few days later (after you agreed with people that you were not piecing)…

I am pretty sure this is the start to piecing, based on the 5 r convo's I have

Then interesting enough….you started a thread over in the piecing section of the boards, even though EVERY poster who posted to you said you were not in piecing.