Me 17 months on - detached and dating

[hotwheelsaust]

Feeling quite sad for the W. Just found out she got the transfer with the OW to Gympie (about 1.5 hours away from Brisbane). But she ended up in a school about an hour away from where they will be living. In a country area that is a long way to drive.
The W also found out that her parents and sister, along with my sons, want to buy a large house, still in Brisbane and all live together.
There is a room for the W, but not the OW, and the W would also have to quit her job as a teacher.
It does seem the family are not happy with the choices she has made.
I don't feel any happiness for what is happening with her, but I know that she has made this choice and therefore she must go through doing this.
At least she will be with her OW, rather than in a country area all by herself.
I wish I could say something to her, but I am not supposed to be aware of these happenings. I also understand I shouldn't say anything anyway.
Also feeling sad that my two boys are more interested in living with the SIL and the W's parents, rather than with me.
While trying to be positive about everything, it still feels (to me) that I am solely responsible for all that has gone on. It hurts to know that the boys lives have been so changed because of this separation.
It does seem though, that the boys are showing the W the same level of communication etc as me.
Life is still going very well with my partner. We just celebrated 8 months of togetherness. Communication is big and going well.
One thing I do need to be aware of and alter, is talking about how I feel about the loss of the friends and family (not the W) to my partner. It usually comes up from another subject, rather than just talking about the family/friends.