I would assume most IC's are experts at knowing how to control a conversation in their office - either by them giving you advice when you need it or letting you spill your guts for as long as they see necessary. Just be yourself and let them worry about the dynamic. But when they talk, actively listen. Don't just wait for a break so you can start talking again.
I'm realizing that it's a skill to strike a balance on how to see the positives. Obviously you don't want to give yourself paper hopes that will fall apart and leave you miserable. But you shouldn't dwell on negative things, either. Maybe until you are more stable, focus on two things in your mentality about WAH:
1. Lightly enjoy the positives. Be aware of them but don't go over the top.
2. Dodge the negative thoughts. When something happens that bothers you, especially something mysterious or hazy like the V announcement, just make yourself ignore it as best you can.
If something really bad happens, like if he suddenly verbally accosts you for no good reason, or intentionally makes your D upset (not saying those things will happen, just hypothetical) then deal with it head on. But it seems like your anxiety (at least related to WAH) comes more from uncertainty and mind reading. Put practically, maybe your takeaway list from last night should have been:
- He did something sweet for D7 (flowers). He's a great dad and D7 is lucky to have two parents that love her.
- D7 was able to share a great accomplishment with both of her parents there, and celebrated with them together for an entire night.
- He shared something intimate from his IC sessions (book). Many people here would love to share that intimate of a thought with their WAS.
- We shared a few laughs.
- He will now have a lively, warm gift from you and D7 in his apartment
And that's it! No worries about V or worries about the future. That is a great night from someone in your sitch.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
