It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[fthnluv]

I'm a mess today. If I'm not sleeping I am crying. Picturing H with the OW and doing all the things we used to do. Remembering all the times I made mistakes in what I said or how I reacted to something. I remember once, last year, we were driving and the song "Marry Me" came on and H told me the song reminded him of me. I remember being puzzled and sort of dismissing it. I regret that so much, I should have really listened to the words and been complimented and told him I loved that he still wanted to marry me. Now, he wants to marry HER. I'm just so sad about all I have lost. He WAS the H any woman would be lucky to have and somehow I feel like I let him get away. I want my H (the one I still believe is in there) back SO BAD. I just can't get over him and the love we had for each other. I want to tell him so much how much I miss him. I want him to miss me too. I'm just so sad today.