Feeling stronger than ever

[mleigh4]

Thank you Daring. I try to keep up the PMA.

H got home about 6:00 last night. I was reading, S was watching SpongeBob. S had absolutely no reaction to H walking in the door. I agree, it's really sad, but I can only do so much. So H comes over all dramatic saying HELLO!!?? to S looking for some kind of reaction. S got up and gave him a mediocre hug. Meanwhile I was still reading, but I at least said hi and asked how his trip was. So H turns away and says "Ugh. It's so great to be home", in a very sarcastic way. Hhhmmmmmm ok I didn't react, not a peep. But that really pissed me off. Why?

Well, first off, H didn't even tell S about his trip until the night before at bedtime when he told him he wouldn't see him the next day because he was going to Tahoe. That was it, all he said. S looked a little shell shocked but was ok about it. Overall, like you know, the weekend was WONDERFUL for S and I without the juvenile H drama. But I just can't let that comment go. Then once H got home, he immediately went and sat on the couch and watched Nascar.

So, maybe against the DB rules, but I just sent H a text. Just says in response to his comment last night, that S and I want nothing more than to be a family that plays together. (we do NOTHING together, just sit at home. Every weekend H goes out with the guys, S is never a part of any outing with H. H will spend one on one time with S about once or twice a month. H complains that S doesn't want to do anything with him) I told him that he excludes S from just about everything he does and that I believe S may have been hurt about H going to Tahoe (my S loves Tahoe) with no warning or explanation. I asked him did he expect us to be jumping up and down when he got home? I said that he has put us at the bottom of his priority list and that if he really wants a better relationship with S, that he should treat him like he is important, not just somebody he has time for when it's convenient for him. I told H that I know he loves S very much, but that I'm not so sure S knows that, to show him.

Whew. I would not have said anything but that comment ticked me off, I can't let it go. I haven't told him off in a while, but I really tried to make this one about him and S, not me. That really is a huge concern for me. The 2 of them have such a crappy relationship. I truly believe my H doesn't know how to really connect. He is this way with me, and now S. My S needs his dad. I try to help them along, but H needs to stop expecting relationships to just be good without any effort!