It helps to look at an A as an addiction. Addicts are only thinking of themselves and have trouble thinking logically. How this affects you isn't fully understood, because that requires empathy, and while in the fog they have very little, if any, empathy to access. Addicts lie, cheat and do anything they can, crazy or not, to get to the source of their addiction. It really not about you at all- affairs are very selfish indulgences that happen in a "bubble" so to speak.
Will you H see you more clearly? Yes, but only after the A is over. At that point, they "wake up" and realize what they have done, much like a sober alcoholic.
Read the stories on here, particularly the ones that resulted in reconciliation. You are going to have to learn that tough love is the only love that matters in your situation right now. You must avoid begging, crying, pleading reasoning etc., it only pushes them farther away from you. It feels frightening and counter intuitive to do so, but it's your best hope of winning them back.
