Agreed. And it's vital advice. But the implication was that he was neglecting his kids. The purpose of this forum is a safe space to vent about fixations (yes many of them unhealthy) we have with our WAS so that those emotions don't bleed over into our interactions with our families.
I believe I said I had not been "fully present for MY kids" when I was preoccupied by my h's doings. And I was simply TOO preoccupied. I don't think this is a forum for venting, or at least it's not the primary purpose.
The primary purpose is to help apply the DB principles to our individual situations and to get support from others who have been down this road before or are on it with us, now.
Though I think Mindsink loves his kids, I also believe, strongly, that he spends far far too much time on his wife's actions/plans/feelings and what he thinks all of those are. If he were to use a coach, that's what I think they'd work on, i.e. himself. I myself did have a coach, and she was a Godsend. I had 15 sessions with her and it was magical for ME...
In MIndsink's posts, there's just way too much focus on HER, way too much mind reading and a whole ton of projecting about the future, without enough data...
and there is not enough focus on HIM. (I guess you could say that's a 180, but it's not the kind the book(s) or we were hoping for). I stand by that statement though I'd love to be wrong about it.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
