In limbo, need to figure out next steps (thread #5

[Bart42]

Before I found this forum and DB, I sent the Harley "Since you won't end the A I want a Separation" letter- I waivered a bit but finally pushed for D mediation with W because its lots quicker, easier on the kids and would cost a lot less. In my state D takes 6-12 months with lawyers and costs 5x more than mediation. She agreed to the initial session (not because she wanted the S- she wanted to cake eat) but seeing how serious I was in the session and hearing from the mediator that we could be S in a month caused her to freak and pressure OM to leave his GF- that didn't happen and that relationship imploded (hopefully for good- time will tell). I don't think HOW (file, mediate, etc.) you do it matters as much as 1) that you put pressure on and keep it on 2) telegraph that you believe you will be 100% fine with the D/S outcome (GAL, PMA). Heed MDW's advice though- this is last resort to be sure, as there is no guarantee it will work, so you have to be ready to be D/S if it doesn't work! And remember, if you make the push you have to follow through on this or you lose ALL credibility with W.