Am I doomed to be miserable in my future relationships because I expect to be treated like that? I worry that those expectations are so deeply ingrained in me that I won't notice them until I'm in another situation like this one. And I never, ever, ever want to go through something like this again.
Short answer, a resounding NO! Recognizing where you are is the first step and wanting to change it is the second.
It was in my IC's office that I really realized that I'd married a pretty good replica of my Dad. I stomped my feet a bit but reality is reality. Gaining self-awareness is very worth the effort. have you thought about a new IC? The right person can be very helpful.
We have to learn to relate to the person we married, not the person we think/wish we had married. They are who they are and always have been, we just had our wishful lenses on. The problem with that is then every time they do something that's out of character for who we wish they were, it feels like betrayal.
Can you separate out the who he really is from who you wished he was?
It's good that you're taking a break.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
