Putting my life back together

[Ahoy]

I got that question yesterday too! I just beamed and said, "Good! I'm cooking some food." (he had just dropped by to deliver daughter's book bag). I treat the question as if it is light daily conversation, not an invitation to go into the deep depths of my soul. I act as if the question is directed at how I am doing in the moment with whatever activity I happen to be engaged in.

I figure: if he wants to know how I'm doing on a deeper level, he will have to ask more specific questions, and also open himself up to being honest and open about his own feelings. I'm pretty sure he's not up to that task yet, so there's no point in me opening up to him and becoming vulnerable when it's a one-way street.

Let's face it: if they really wanted to know, wouldn't they be more specific? Like ask, "How are you feeling about our relationship for the future?" or they would just be honest and say, "I'm still really confused about what I want for the future. Some days I miss you and our relationship, and some days I feel really good about being independent and pursuing my own life. Do you feel the same?"

But they probably won't, and maybe never will.

And we have to be okay with those unasked and unanswered questions in the meantime.