bravo, the one thing that brings me down from the "why did she not tell me anything was wrong? why did she make this decision so suddenly?" questions is the fact that SO many people have been through and are going through the same thing. That acknowledgement gives me my sanity back, kills my "terminal uniqueness" and also kills any anger I might be starting to build for WAW.
The timing of our sitches are nearly identical. I would actually say the bomb was "deployed" on 6/2/14 (I knew something was seriously wrong) but it didn't hit until 6/3/14, around 5:00 or 6:00 pm (she told me ILYBNILWY, first mention of possible S). But our sitch is a little more "settled" in S only. We are cordial and have had a few laughs, etc, but no D talk like you and also no admission of attraction to me like your WAW. As long as you don't feel like you're being played, and especially if you don't think there is OM in the picture, I would try to capitalize on every interaction with her. Eliminate your Love Busters, try to speak in her LL to the extent of your knowledge, focus on her ENs. When not with her, GAL, 180 and detach. Obviously none of those are new suggestions for you, but they are the best plan, so it should be mentioned again.
And for some additional encouragement, I've seen several vets or longer-term posters here who have "D papers filed" in their history but have then went on to "D on hold", piecing and/or full reconciliation. Papers are not the end. Even a finalized D is not the end for many people. So, in the words of MWD, "Don't give up, no matter how dark it gets!"
Last edited by Card29; 10/06/1405:59 AM.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
