Awwww, my boot-lovin' board peeps.... Thanks, Mighty, uR, GB
I've been selling stuff on CL this weekend. Most of the furniture in my storage garage is not going to be used again, as I once thought. When we S, if anyone recalls, I was under the impression it was temporary, and to SAVE our M, before I found out about MLC and all the dingleberries that go with that.
So, I decided to sell the older boys' bedroom stuff (they can't take it with them, anyway, and it's nothing of sentimental value). Still have more to go...
Then, I saw a smaller dining set on CL that would fit my apartment much better than the one from my old dining room. I contacted them, and it was agreed that I would pick up today.
I posted my set, and it sold fast!! Then?? Lol.... The people selling the set I was going to pick up went dark.... So we have no table and chairs now. We just giggled. Oh well. My son said let's have a picnic. So we did. We're nerdy like that.
I'm trying to stay busy. I would be lying if I said H hasn't crossed my mind. He hasn't contacted me at all today. No idea why. But I'm learning not to focus on the why because it really does not matter.
I'm starting to have fun again. I've also realized some things about growing up....that I'm still sorting out and I'm not too sure about....need to ruminate a bit more.
Here is where I'm at today:
I'm getting better at being exactly where I am, and not mentally someplace else. I'm not desperately wondering what's going on in the land of Cuckoo McGoo. I do get a little emotional about our S, and I still get sad, angry, etc. but it continues to become less frequent and less intense.
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My focus has shifted now that I'm inside one month's time until S18 leaves....ugh. Here's a silly mommy thing....
I taught my kids very young, how to wash their clothes. We started with sorting colors. Then they helped fold. When they were about 9-10, I had them doing simple loads. By 12, they all did their own. All of it. It wasn't ever a battle, it was just what they did.
People would ask me how I got them to do their own laundry.....I used to say to them, as I was gesturing like I was playing a video game or texting, "if they are able to learn this, they are able to do (pushing a button on washing machine) THIS."
Anyway.....last night, my S18 was at his friend's house. I went into his room, and grabbed every piece of laundry I could. And I washed and folded all of it, realizing how long it's been since I've done that. I enjoyed every moment. I won't get the chance to do this for much longer. It's starting to hit me.
They will both be moved out by December. One S is a very long drive or plane ride away. It will be lonesome without him, but I can still text and call him anytime.
The other S will be a plane ride away, but he will not be able to see me, call me, or text me at will, for 4 years, other than time off, which he won't always know. He begins serving our country on active duty in less than one month. *deep breath*.
The two of them together have been very silly lately. They've spent a lot of time together, and it's actually been a strange blessing that they are again sharing a room....who would have thought. They started their infant lives sharing a room, and they are finishing their pre-launch young adulthood, once again....sharing a room. Life is amazing, isn't it?
The next month will begin to mark the end of an era. Oh, man, I'm not ready.
I used to think how awful this is to have to face alone. I planned to have this experience with my H and we would lean on each other for support through this transition. I got angry that he's not here to hold my hand. But I'm now accepting that this is the way it was meant to be. Just me. Just them. This is ours.
God is with me, helping me process and get through this. What a gift. What a gift.
