Dying,
You need to take the feedback and stop trying to analyze it into "that's not what I meant to say" and listen to what other people actually hear you saying. That's all.

Dying, you might think about following a 12 step style self improvement regimen. It might help resolve the anger and resentment.

Me Bond, you may as well be talking to me, because some of your statements cut me a little deep, too. I'm tearing up my scorecard here and now. My sponsor is taking care of my resentment.

Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3