Thanks pbetra, It's always great to hear from you. So, saw my W today when I picked up D14. My lawyer has been wanting to see me in his office but he had to cancel the last 2 times so it's been a couple weeks. I do have an appt. for tomorrow morning after I drop off D14 at school. Well, as I was about to get my D and go my W says "Hey, when are you going to see your lawyer?". I looked at her and said "Actually I go see him tomorrow". She then said (in a very sweet voice) "Good, I really want to speed things up". I just smiled and said "Don't worry, you'll get what you want soon" and left it at that. She thanked me for meeting her and left.
This makes me wonder what the heck is happening. How does she even know I'm supposed to go see my lawyer? I'm thinking that it's going to be some kind of "final offer" type of thing since I responded to her last "offer" that basically said how lucky I am that she would "allow" me to stay in our home until D14 turns "18 and a day" and she gets to keep all the retirement, 401K's, HSA money and also the antiques we bought together. My response was that was unfair, that the value of the house now is not much and that by only allowing me to stay there I would need to do many upgrades to sell it and even just stay living there and that whatever money I put out to get the house to the point where it will sell shouldn't be included in her share of the proceeds when it gets sold. I really think that's fair. It's not punitive at all towards her and she gets more than I do in the end.
I have a feeling that this is the end of the process and my M is going to be over in the next week to 10 days. It does make me sad, even though I knew it was inevitable. I'll never understand my W's MLC and why the only answer she has to be happy is ending our 26 year R (21 years M). I really want to have one last talk with her though. I would like her to know that while I don't think D is the answer, I don't hate her. That I really do hope she finds whatever it is she is so badly missing in her life. We haven't been alone a single moment since she left. Of course, I don't have any idea what she is thinking now that she is gone. Whether she is happier or not, it's all she hoped it would be or not. I don't think it matters, don't get me wrong. Just something I'm curious about.
The only R talk we had since she left was the time, 2 weeks after she left, where she freaked out about my asking to keep an antique clock and she ran around the house yelling about how she "had to leave" because she had to sleep on the couch for months, then went on a general spew. I have not once brought up anything. As far as she knows, I am wanting a D as much as she does. I don't know. I guess I'm wondering if there would be anything to gain by talking to her before the D is "final" or not.
I'm actually a little surprised that I'm feeling as sad as I am knowing she is in such a big hurry to get the D over with. It's not like I didn't know it's what she wants. Maybe because it's so "final' once it's at that point, I really don't know. Oh, well. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I the meantime I'm still needing to find a new job, make some money, etc. No rest for the wicked!
Oh, my w posted something on Facebook yesterday that I saw (we are still "friends"). It was a letter my D14 wrote as a school assignment. She was told to write a letter to someone she "admires". She wrote it to her grandmother, W's real mother. She talked about how much she appreciated her and all she has done for her, etc. I know my D14 is sad about her mom treating her fathers OW as her "new mom" and as said how upset her GM would be if she knew. My W posted the letter and said how proud she was of her D14. I wish my W could see how the way she has been treating her mom like she 's a pain and her "step-mom" (is that the right thing to call her now that W is almost 50 years old?) like she is the smartest most wonderful person she knows makes her mom feel. Not my sand box though. At least my D14 knows all that she has done for all of us (she said in the letter how she is always so good to "every member of my family" which I think is about me!) and shows her how much she cares. She is such a great kid.
