1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 7

[mdu]

I'm in an interesting place. Feeling pretty good about life, despite H being so cold and distant and things not looking great for us right now.

Not sure what it is that's making me feel pretty positive. Maybe finally getting honest with myself about how far off the rails I've gone. Maybe it was the fun of the party, I love organizing parties for the kids. Also, I really enjoyed the warmth and help from various Mom's I'm friendly with who know H and I are separated. I definitely felt more detached from H today, which was a good thing. I didn't let his coolness get me down.

Interestingly, I also don't feel the panicky 'how am I going to deal with this house' lately. I feel more and more like I'll figure it out.

Maybe going way off the rails was good. Maybe you have to hit bottom before you can make some real progress. I feel a shift in me, let's see if I can make it permanent.