WAW - no contact, now refuses therapy, file?

[sandi2]

I have strong suspicions of a WAW who wants to return so quickly. You have seen no change b/c there has been none. One important change for her, is knowing she was wrong in her choice to leave you and for the hurt she caused you. A woman doesn't usually enter into WAW mode for just a few weeks and then it's all over. She has to work through the issues that caused her to leave. Since you did not mention anything about yourself she complained about, and that she simply wanted to live to party.....then I'd think she needed a change of heart, at least. Unless you are willing to accept that lifestyle in a M, then it needs to be the center focus of has she changed her mind about it, and if so, why? You deserve some kind of explanation since she felt having fun was more important than the M.

Btw, it is fine to tell her that you would like to believe it, but right now you are in no hurry to take chances.

Other than continuing to have sex with her, I think you have handled yourself and the stitch pretty well. You are really taking a risk by having sex, when you say she may have even had a PA. if she shows up pregnant, all she has to do is say you are the daddy.

I suggest you pull back some. Stop having the R talks for a while. Stop pursuing about her going to MC. Don't even mention it. See if she insists on it. If she doesn't want to go, it's a pretty good chance she is not really interested in doing the work. Which brings me to the question, has she made any verbal commitments to working on herself and working to save the M?

She has just began to experience how tough things can get without your financial assistance and/or the comforts of home. I mean, there must be some advantages for her to want to return this early. Is that what she has really stated, wanting to "return home" instead of committing?

Have you read the Divorce Remedy book? If not, make it top priority. Continue working on yourself. Not just the physical, but the self-confidence. It is so attractive in a man! Don't fall into passivity. It is so unattractive in a man.

I hope you post often. Don't give up. Your M can be saved.