HopeTex, in re-reading my response I see I focused too much on the positive and didn't touch on the anguish you are feeling.

I do know that anguish and I'm so sorry you're in a bad place. What I meant to say is that you ARE doing so many positive things in the face of such a difficult situation.

M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R