What is going on in their heads?

[Zimmy]

I am the classic 'was happy in a 7yr relationship' story until I discovered his affair. Now we are separated and he is confused, but appears to be leaning towards being with her. A woman he met on a plane and who lives in Frankfurt, Germany. (I mean, seriously???). Before this, we had what even he calls a great relationship and were best friends and life partners who had just bought a house together.

How do I deal with the complete abandonment? He won't even see our dog that he adored! What does that say? He is like a totally different person.

I would love to know, whether they ever think about us and miss us while they are going thru the selfish affair fog? When that wears off and reality sets in, do they see us more clearly?

I am totally dismantled. Crying and can barely function. How does someone who used to love you do this to you? Is that love still there, just suppressed by all the craziness? Would love to hear from some wayward spouses about their story and what worked to get through to them. Desperate for some hope.