Newbie Errors- Restarting the R- part 2

[Bart42]

No real update- just journaling here. So I'm starting to wonder if W is ever going to raise the R talk or is just going to keep going with the status quo thinking I'll stay in limbo forever.

Its been two full days since I got home and no R talk by her at all- she's been pleasant, but raised nothing about us at all.

She spent Saturday morning and afternoon completely shut down- she slept through most of the morning, got up, vegged in front of the TV and then went back to bed until mid- afternoon, so it seems the depression/ mourning the loss of the OM is still there, so I'm hopeful that remains over.

I on the other hand spent a wonderful day out from 9 to 4 with the kids and we all came home happy and laughing over some inside jokes she didn't get, which made me feel a bit smug I must admit- she's gotta see we're doing just fine without her.

W then makes the effort to have her own fun with D (I read this is competing/feeling left out) and offers to play one of heir favorite games. I announce that I'm gonna run out for dinner (Saturday night) , put on a new outfit I just bought and head out. W calls cell 30 mins later asking where I am and where/what I'm eating and when I'll be home. I was vague. 20 more mins txt from daughter asking me to pick up dessert- no doubt at urging of W who used this a tactic to be sure I was coming home soon. I say sure but it will be a little late. Get home and W can't help but blurt out all sorts of questions designed to find out where I was and what I was up to. I deflected and changed the subject by talking to D instead. Childish, but I enjoyed watching W's discomfort.

So I know I'm supposted to wait for her to raise R, but the weekend is almost over and we have crazy work schedules that leave no time for talking during the week. Also I have a mediation date on the calendar for Friday (the appointment that stared the whole-"I'd like to think we won't need it" comment by her)- so I can't be silent as that is her status quo game, but simply pushing the mediation date by sending her a calendar invite is a bit d*ckish and will anger her more than anything. Think I will make an offhand comment at some point this afternoon to confirm the dates all work for her and see where that leads.

Detaching must be working- I'm begining to think I'll be OK if this doesn't work out and that unless she makes some big commitments to tranparency and the M I'm not going to want to reconcile.