Oh my dear sweet tough Train. My heart goes out to you. I am SO glad you are all ok though!!!!
I will write you more later, when I'm on a real keyboard. I've had my own waves lately, and I can empathize. Your response to your husband's needs, and your self-awareness during this horribly challenging time, is so admirable. Those tools -- and your family's love for each other -- WILL see you through this.
"I Will Praise You in This Storm" -- look it up on YouTube. And "Blessings," by Laura Story. And "Higher Ways" by Stephen Curtis Chapman. Those songs have gotten me thru some of my toughest patches.