Bravo, I see way too many parallels between your sitch and mine to be objective at the moment. You are now officially in my prayers. I'll re-read your thread and if I come up with anything actually helpful, I'll let you know.
Investigate a Pro Se attorney and a mediated divorce. If you 2 aren't in conflict, it's much cheaper and you will be showing the W that you are taking the sitch seriously. Know your state law. She shouldn't be able to take more than 25% of your net for two kids most places, and if she out-earns you, you might be eligible for spousal support yourself. LEARN. These are just examples and I am NOT an attorney.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
