Well, we went to the Christian marriage intensive retreat for 4 days. Unfortunately, it did not go as I'd hoped. H revealed he is still seeing woman he had affair with. I knew he was dating someone but I didn't know it was her. She lives in another city about 4 hours away so they can only see each other on weekends occasionally. H said that he cares for me deeply but has only a "fraternal" love for me and not the same love he had for me many years ago. He has a heart of stone for me and has a lot of anger and resentment. We have not had a good marriage, with constant bickering and no sex for the last several years. Despite everything, I still love him and want to start over and create a wonderful relationship. I expressed this at the retreat and he basically said NO WAY! He said that he still wants to be my friend but feels nothing more than that can ever happen. He said, "That part of me is dead". The therapists at retreat told me that I need to not be home when he comes to visit our daughter or to have them arrange to meet somewhere else such as dinner out, etc. I told him this and he said he would do so. Therapist told him it was just too painful psychologically for me to see him and knowing he is with someone else. I thought I had already experienced the most pain I could possibly endure but I was mistaken. The pain is excruciating at this point. I have given him space since this nightmare began. What else can anyone recommend? Has anyone else been given a "fraternal" love remark?
Me: 54 H: 58 Married: 29 years Together 33 years H admitted to A: 5/29/14 H moved out :6/15/14 OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H D23 D18
