Maybell XIV

[Ahoy]

Maybell, fear is the worst. Remember though: right now, in this very moment, everything is okay.

Of course I don't mean that your marriage is okay, or that life is grand, but you are where you are, breathing, not being attacked by wild dogs or suffering from ebola, or driving a kid to the hospital. You are basically okay.

But fear is making you not okay, and you can't let that take over your life right now. Fear puts you in fight or flight mode, which may be why you exploded at your H.

Remember: you don't have to make any decisions right now. You just don't. Also? You might feel differently next week. So maybe don't make any rash decisions one way or another about your situation.

Making boundaries for yourself is fine. Maybe next time you can find a way to do it in a way that will bring you more peace and less agitation. We are all learning as we go along.

Maybe embrace the "IF." After all, IF does not mean there is a set outcome. IF means you don't have to decide right now, you just have to let things evolve and take care of yourself and GAL in the meantime.

Pema Chodron writes about intimacy with fear and also "relax as it is." This is where you are. It's not forever. You will pass through this. In the meantime, sending you big hugs.