Maybell XIV

[Maybell]

I always wanted to write a novel (should just print out all my threads, that's probably enough words!)

I have been writing short stories sporadically the last four years but I keep letting that effort get disrupted by moves and the marriage debacle.

I have a half-written story I'm going to polish up for a contest that closes 10/15. And I am going to work up an outline for this year's National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) which starts November 1st.

And I've submitted my resume for a number of jobs and I've been networking like mad.

And I think (though I'm still scared to take this step) that I'm going to make a move to separate the finances at least partway so I can feel less dependent on my husband. That is the scariest step for me. That's the truest step I could take to signal to my mind that we really are apart.

I am afraid. And really, really sad. But I have to take this separation thing more deeply seriously or I will never be able to move on. I am just so scared. I guess I never have believed I was capable of being alone. I didn't like it much before I met him. And I feel so vulnerable, especially after the IC thing (and I'm still struggling to process that.) I'm going to have to change the way I think about that from now on.