New, dazed, depressed and confused...

[Zimmy]

All:

I was thinking of sending him the following letter. Welcome comments!

Ex:

I did a lot of thinking over the weekend. If you felt that there was anything missing from our relationship or I did anything that may have contributed to your affair, I’m very sorry - I would give anything to turn back the clock and have the opportunity to fix whatever wasn’t working. Maybe we were busy and took each other for granted sometimes, but I don’t believe that we were fundamentally broken. I also realize that I have been somewhat judgmental and dismissive of your feelings lately, and for that I sincerely apologize - this situation hasn't been easy for either one of us, and I wish I had been a more supportive and thoughtful listener instead of yelling at you about how I think you should feel and broccoli vs. cake...

I’m willing to fight for us and create a new life together where we can be happy and deeply in love again – I believe that this is very possible. (We've already proven we can do this before!) But I just don’t feel like I have a real shot at this while you are invested emotionally with someone else and detached from us. Trying to live under these conditions has been extremely confusing and painful for me, and I can no longer endure it.

I love you very much and we had something amazing together (and still could), but it's clear to me that you are incapable of seeing that right now. Maybe someday, when the blinders come off, you might have more clarity and cherish all that we were, and also feel some remorse and empathy for how badly this has hurt me (a person who was your best friend, life partner and family and deserved nothing but your love, kindness and loyalty).

Until your affair ends and you are willing to reinvest in us, for my own sake I will avoid seeing you or talking to you, and I ask that you respect that decision. I still love you, but I accept that I need to let you go and pursue your other life/personality, while I move on with mine - even though the prospect of us separating forever breaks my heart into a billion pieces.

In the event that you are willing to permanently end your relationship and join me in restoring ours, we would have a chance. Perhaps someday down the road, I hope we will be able to find ‘us’ again and rebuild our life together. We had the world, and we could have it again – you and me and Kiki and our horses. I only wish you could see it right now.

In any case, I will always miss you, our incredible chemistry, our fantastic and happy life together, and all our wonderful memories. I wish you all the best and I want you to be happy. You will always be in my heart, and somewhere deep down I believe I am still in yours.

Love,

Kristin

P.S.: Chris will be in touch regarding the logistics, as it is too difficult for me to deal with everything right now.