Stop interacting with him. Go away. Leave him alone. You are allowing him to make you miserable because he is miserable.
Make it a goal to go 24 hours without speaking to him. Then, make it a goal to go 12 without thinking about him. Go 3 days without going into his garage.
I used my last Db coaching session yesterday with Leni and she also said don't engage with h, no questions, stop trying to get affirmation from h so I can feel better, She pointed out a cycle between us
1) I try to get affirmation from h which usually causes him to lash out and feel pressured and angry thinking he needs to get away from me.
2) I walk away reeling with even more pain and rejection than before, and any progress I had managed seems wiped away, feelings of "why am I not good enouph?" "Why won't he try?" "Why can't he see the r is repairable?" Why!
3) damage control , since I never get the answer I wanted, and in most cases the worst answer imaginable (most hurtful , doesn't make sence to me) I than try to find a crumb of hope to hang on to.
4) accepting crumbs , makes me feel no self worth, humiliated, depressed and I allow these interactions to control and consume my emotions , feelings, just everything.
5) h most likely thinks I'm annoying, I have no confidence in myself, no joy, and a shell of the girl he used to love
Coach said I am codependent
The codependent person bends over backward to please and accommodate the other person. Yet they feel like they aren’t doing enough, she said. They experience feelings of self-loathing, which the other person only reinforces by being cruel or abusive,
M 2005 ~together 1997 Bd 2006 & 04/02/2014 1 dd 12 H~ 44 Me 48
