Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

wow card, our timelines are very similar. sep on 8/1/14 and same day of BD (mine was at 11:23 am). what's your take on her initiating plans with me? i would love to have positive interactions to replace the negatives that run in her mind like the reel to a horror show. every time we've done it we've had a good time, smiled and laughed. i certainly don't go into those times with any expectations and no pressure. no r talk from me and try to gently redirect it when she brings it up (hey let's just have a good time). i feel as if i'm in a fog. getting those papers has really messed me up! i knew they were coming but to actually have them in my hand-man. it's like someone tells you a family member dies is one thing, but to see the body really brings it home. i guess after she threw the wedding ring into the fountain i should've been deadened to things like this. her peanut gallery of chickenheads certainly aren't helping esp since i've not met a single one of the ones up here. i just hear her saying over and over in my head like a skipping record "it's time i made a decision for me, i don't want to lose myself againg". i'm sorry but she's not gonna find someone else like me here or anywhere! i've lost 35 lbs, she finds me attractive, pretty witty (hah), smart, thoughtful, generous, loving, the perfect father (her words), an amazing person (again her words), a Godly man, patient (lost the anger that controlled me for years), selfless, and i know the worst things about her and love her regardless. oh and women love a man in uniform!