So how do you feel? Please don't see your laying down a boundary as poor DBing. There comes a point where you have to no longer allow yourself to be seen as a doormat or as plan B. That is precisely how he's treating you at this point.
If he's unwilling to commit to going either way then you are plan B. It sounds like you've decided NOT to be that. You deserve more. You really do. And the first step to that is space.
I don't think it's poor Dbing to request that, either. Taking care of yourself is crucial in all of this and if that means you need serious time to breathe, decompress and live life on YOUR terms thinking only of what's right in front of you, then I say, ROCK ON MAYBELL.
Be gentle on yourself. You've not only faced a lot but you're dealing with someone who is sitting on a fence and who has gently asked you to be ok with that. Um. No.
