Maybell XIV

[Shakspr]

Maybell: You said you don't understand me (men) on one of my threads. Three days ago when I had discovered the EA my W was having.

We are unusual creatures. I personally prefer a stable daily existence with budget for "whims" - chores done early on Saturday? Go to the fair. Homework and dinner done early? Make a trip to 1/2 price books or the comic books store for something silly.

But for many of us, this apparent complacency masks a MUCH wilder nature. We relish an opportunity to be a single step away from going over the edge of Long's Peak in Colorado. We hope, just once, to be in a fight for our very lives. To prove ourselves worthy.

And we'd like to prove that for a woman.

But when a man goes another way...well, it's literally the reverse of all that. That enjoyment of complacency becomes an engine whereby we take advantage of those around us. And codependent relationships that have devolved into the do nothing/nag/fight/makeup (sorta) cycle lock us (and our loved ones) in that rut.

At some point, your man has to get out of his rut. You do deserve decisiveness. I know that I got that way too late, but I am already encouraging two men at work to get on the DB/DR program to save their marriages before it's too late. They are listening, because they WANT to be there in the right way for their wives; they often don't know how. Hearing it from another man (a real man in their lives, not Dr. Phil or an anonymous therapist) makes it real. Especially when my pain is, unfortunately, very visible right now.

I don't know how to encourage you to implement, but here's what you are hearing from the ladies - from a different POV. Go kick some @$$. Get those interviews lined up. Wear something scandalous (yes, I am the Christian guy. We respond to the basics too!) Go to a swanky bar and order scotch. (Glenlivet 18 works!) Let your man know, in your own Maybell way, in or out. You are done with limbo.

Vets, please moderate me if necessary. I'm a bit of a wild card, I know.

Do something different! Experiment! Find out what works!