Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

so to review:
i gave my w PTSD
she wants a divorce
has been planning it since Feb
she still loves me
hears the things i said to hurt her when she sees me
but still wants to do things alone with me(not sexual)
hangs out with a bunch of single bar hoppers at times
says i'm an amazing person now and perfect dad
doesn't want to give me another chance
suggested and planned a family vacay in mid-Oct
cries at the thought of hurting me
said "part of her" really wants a divorce

confused as me yet?
it's like she wants to blow up the marriage and see what happens next-as if she wants to see if i'll maintain who i am now. talk about a mind F***. she has always had a problem with reflecting those around her and she is not getting wise and Godly counsel from anyone in her circle. but what can i expect-this is the Rose City

any WAW out there that can offer any insight?