I wish I had something helpful to say. All I can say is that I think I feel similarly as you do lately. The things that I value in an R just can't *quite* be met through relationships with friends, other family, pets, myself, etc. For as much as we say we should be able to meet those needs and wants on our own without waiting for someone else to do them... at some point making a decision and acting on it is probably going to be taking care of our own needs or wants, I would think? I am also having a lot of thoughts lately about wanting to take some action one way or the other...and maybe moreso wishing H would take that action since he started this train. I call it my "H needs to **** or get off the pot" story So far I feel like if I have any doubts, then I don't need to force myself into a decision. I've had other people in similar situations say "it will come to you one day and you'll just know"... a decision will be made when it's time for it to be made, is how I'm trying to think of it (and in our cases we can't choose to reconcile if the other person doesn't want it, so I guess that's the D decision). I found labug's latest post on claire's thread to be relevant and helpful - maybe check that out if you haven't already.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
So far I feel like if I have any doubts, then I don't need to force myself into a decision. I've had other people in similar situations say "it will come to you one day and you'll just know"... a decision will be made when it's time for it to be made, is how I'm trying to think of it (and in our cases we can't choose to reconcile if the other person doesn't want it, so I guess that's the D decision). I found labug's latest post on claire's thread to be relevant and helpful - maybe check that out if you haven't already.
