Maybell XIV

[GoatGal]

Maybell,

You're always one of my favorite reads! I decided I would try and get back on everyone's threads and yours was top of my list.

I thought of you today because it's First Friday in Downtown Lancaster.
(One of these days, girlie!)

You are very popular on here, lots of ongoing support from the best.

I admit that I haven't been able to read everything you've posted but I've got the big picture at least.

I'm also a SAH(Farm)M, and I know how that goes.
Sometimes getting out "just to get out" seems like more trouble than it's worth, unless you've got something really enjoyable to do.

I think re-discovering your "own" purpose is invaluable, and finding your vocation is a big part of that.

What is the one you've been "hanging onto since childhood"? I'm curious!

But for what it's worth, I'm also a big fan of the AVOCATION.

While you're waiting for that big job, dealing with the interview process and all that, what about finding some things that are at the core of Maybell that don't necessarily pay?

As they've done for me, they might pan out to be paying gigs of a different color.

Not that I'm against "real" jobs, per se, but at a time like this, the interviewing and rejection, and stress of new obligations might be an added burden.

(Or they might infuse your life with energy and supply you with a new direction.)

If you don't "need" the money, maybe this is a possibility to "find your bliss".
As they say.

Heck. You should come swing dancing with me sometime!
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Also, I agree with some others that you do seem to get whiplash from your circumstances day-to-day. That's got to be so hard.

One day you feel one way, the next day, it's the opposite. Some based on what your H is up to, some based on what you're thinking--and therefore, FEELING, some just because being in this situation STINKS.


I feel pretty detached these days, but it comes and goes. I *think* I'm getting the hang of it now.
I have a sort of Zen approach now. I try to be aware of what I'm thinking, and how those thoughts are affecting me.
Then I CHANGE THEM.
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Today I was in the store and that always makes me sad.
I hate shopping for one, it seems so lonely, pathetic... I see this future of me being an old lady buying frozen discount dinners and a bag of cat litter...ugh.

Then I catch myself and I make it stop!

If I can get my thoughts to shift onto something more positive and away from all that nonsense, I immediately start to feel better.
So I thought about making some cool sandwiches for when my Farm-Boy-Toy is here next week and how much he would appreciate that.

I picture myself as the cool lady who makes all the kiddies laugh behind their parents' backs. I think how lucky I am that I can afford to buy good food--and for the fact that now I am able to actually EAT and ENJOY it!

I think about my upcoming plans, anything, ANYTHING BUT GUBU.
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I know you've heard all this before, so it's just a reminder.

I swear I credit this way of thinking to helping me detach so much.

Control your THOUGHTS (which you can do), and you will by extension, control your feelings.

I guess it's what they say when they say "Focus on YOURSELF".

I know you already know this, it's just something we often forget to be within our power to control.
Anything to help you feel more grounded is a good thing and I hate to see you going up and down on that roller coaster.

When you catch yourself ruminating over H, be aware, and change channels.
You don't want to be watching the Kardashians forever, do ya?
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You're a peach, and peaches are wonderful and juicy.
However, they've got an awfully strong stone as a foundation for all that sweetness.
Stone Fruit.

(Okay, maybe that metaphor was a bit of stretch, but you get what I mean.)

You're strong deep down where it counts.

(Especially when life is the PITS!!! )


Your Pal,
The Goat Gal

----(G)GGG