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jim0987 #2493926 10/03/14 07:02 PM
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Remember when this happened to Shakespr a few days ago? Go back and read that thread and everyone who weighed in urging time and taking a moment to catch your breath. This isn't the moment to take any action. Are you in the house together right now? If so, you should probably leave for awhile.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2493935 10/03/14 07:20 PM
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She doesn't know I know because I snooped but yeah both in the same house.

I read that she hasn't loved me for more than a year apparently. And pretty much every message refers to how awful I am and that she hates me.

I went to my IC the other evening and she thinks I went on a date. She seems to be twisting everything to justify her position.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
jim0987 #2493936 10/03/14 07:21 PM
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Not going to do anything at the moment just got to try and stay calm. Maybe throw up.

Not sure if this is too much for me. Do I really want her back when she can do this to me.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
jim0987 #2493937 10/03/14 07:23 PM
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Originally Posted By: jim0987


I read that she hasn't loved me for more than a year apparently. And pretty much every message refers to how awful I am and that she hates me.

I went to my IC the other evening and she thinks I went on a date. She seems to be twisting everything to justify her position.



Repeat after me - Don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do - and by the way, just because she said to someone else that she thought you went on a date, doesn't mean she believes it - she could just be trying to paint the situation in a favorable light to whoever she was talking to.

Look - just about everyone on this board has gone through this (usually before they get on the boards) - it is absolutely awful right now - but it will get better, I promise.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
jim0987 #2493938 10/03/14 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted By: jim0987
Not going to do anything at the moment just got to try and stay calm. Maybe throw up.

Not sure if this is too much for me. Do I really want her back when she can do this to me.



It's way too early to know what is too much for you and how you will feel about her. And honestly yes, you might throw up. That's why I suggest finding an excuse to leave the house for a while.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2493942 10/03/14 07:41 PM
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All the problems in our relationship were triggered when she went behind my back to see an ex. I couldn't deal with that and it kicked of the downward spiral that led here.

When we first got together it was on the back of her sleeping with a random guy just to avoid getting together with me. So unreasonable as it sounds this is the third time she has ripped my heart out for someone else.

All I ever wanted was to feel wanted by her.

Yep definitely think throwing up is the way forward.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
jim0987 #2493946 10/03/14 07:57 PM
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Turns out there is a new low to my life. Can't believe I thought there was any chance of saving this M


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
jim0987 #2493949 10/03/14 08:21 PM
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jim, breathe, it's really, really tough. Most of us have been right where you are. Don't make any big decisions right now. Like raliced said, don't believe anything you read from her. I read some really terrible things back when I snooped too, it's right out of the script, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Hang in there man, we're all pulling for you.


Me:33 W:32
T 12yrs M 3yrs
House, No kids
6/16/14 BD 1+yr PA disclosed
9/1/14 Requested divorce, in house S
jim0987 #2493951 10/03/14 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted By: jim0987
Right now I want to throw her are out of the house



Oh really? Then I suggest you re read the posts you have written about how you got here, b/c that is the hard cold truth.

In my opinion, you've been a very hard man to live with...Enough said, I guess.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
25yearsmlc #2493956 10/03/14 08:30 PM
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I know I haven't been easy to live with and I did some awful things so I guess I deserve this.

I can give all the its and buts but actually they don't matter because they don't fix things and won't resolve anything. And I need to own what is wrong with me.

Just wish we had tried to fix it before she ran off/found solace in the bed of another man.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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