EA then PA with her ex

[Anaru]

W away again this evening (Friday evening) to visit OM - to address things/round things off she says.
I am flying home tonight (transatlantic flight) and will be alone with my thoughts all the way.
Backslid and said that this was exactly the situation over the last 6 months where they ended up in bed together. And that she seemed to have no idea what she was doing to me.
W just replied I kept harping on about the same subject.
Decided not to argue and go monosyllabic again.

Been reading Zew's threads on his WAW situation - learning a lot from that. So many lessons apply to me. Esp STFU and NC.

Also a post by Theoden helped me understand what you do with all that neediness and emotion that you seem to have to bottle up and hidden (or deal with in private or not with W). I know maybe not the right choice of words but the important detail that GAL activity needs to completely engage your attention had not been clear to me.
Going out for walks (alone, with W and with sons) has been helping but indeed my thoughts keep turning to the hole in my heart.
So will try to spend more time making/fixing things in my workshop and paying attention to my sons. Just to take my mind off things.
have great support from a friend in my home country and my boss (boss is female, based in US - I am based in Europe) decided to let my boss know what was going on in a moment of candour. She has been very understanding.