Magingmagic, where'dja go??

[ericmsant2]

I found a few things on line that I thought may help you….

Abusers and manipulators

An abuser is a grand manipulator and will sulk, threaten to leave, and emotionally punish you for not following their idea of how things should be. An abuser will try to make you feel guilty any time you exert your will and assert what is right for you. At times the abuser may appear to be apologetic and loving; the abuse begins again when the abuser feels he or she has your forgiveness.

Cycle of abuse
Emotional abuse, like other types of abuse, tends to take the form of a cycle. In a relationship, this cycle starts when one partner emotionally abuses the other, typically to show dominance. The abuser then feels guilt, but not about what he (or she) has done, but more over the consequences of his actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for his own behavior to avoid taking responsibility over what has happened. The abuser then resumes "normal" behavior as if the abuse never happened and may, in fact, be extra charming, apologetic and giving – making the abused party believe that the abuser is sorry. The abuser then begins to fantasize about abusing his partner again and sets up a situation in which more emotional abuse can take place.

Blames others - If your significant other always blames everything on someone else, namely you, this may be a bad sign. It is not a sign of a healthy relationship if your partner never takes responsibility and never admits to being at fault.


A few more interesting tid bits…

How can you recognize a selfish friend or partner, and how do you stop them from affecting your life?
Selfish people are always lovable, nice and really sweet. It’s true, they really are. For all you know, you may be in love with a selfish person right now, or perhaps you have a best friend who’s selfish. Unfortunately for you, the traits of a selfish person aren’t easy to notice, because they cover their darker side so well. But as the relationship starts to grow, you’d start to feel emotionally weak around this person. And before you know it, they could suck the happiness out of you, and all you can do is watch helplessly.
What makes a person selfish?
A selfish person is one who cares only for their own pleasures, even if it causes pain to someone else. They have no consideration for anyone else, and worry only about their own comfort. Selfish people are well mannered and nice to everyone, but they’re nice only as long as they get something more back in return from the people around them. The irony of it all is that a selfish person wouldn’t even know they’re being selfish. They’d just assume they’re nice people who care about their own happiness more than anything else. But in their pursuit of their own happiness, they carelessly and intentionally walk all over the shattered hearts of any loving person around them.
One of the easiest ways to recognize a selfish partner or a friend is their trait of always extracting more from you, and yet, they never give anything back to you in equal measures.
Selfish people aren’t selfish with everyone
Selfish people subconsciously pick and choose the people they would want to use and trample on. They don’t go looking for people to hurt. But just like a wild animal’s inner instincts, if they come face to face with a caring and emotional person that they see as prey, they use them and abuse them until the relationship eventually falls apart or they find someone better to prey on.
If you come across as intimidating or emotionally closed off to a selfish person, they’d never ever dream of using you. Instead, they’d suck up to you and try to win your affection.
The mind of selfish people
A relationship is an exchange of emotions. In every successful relationship, both partners give and take from each other in equal measures without keeping count. And everything’s just perfect.
But when one partner stops giving back to the relationship, the relationship starts to fail.
When you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, they would continue to extract your love and your affections. But they’d stop giving any love or affection back in return which would leave you feeling weak, unappreciated and miserable.

Signs that your partner is using you
1) Wants space…a lot of space.
2) Behaves like a friend
3) Your not introduced as his partners
4) He’s confused about your R status
5) He talks about his complicated life
6) He is willing to do thing but only on his terms.
7) He dominates the R
8) He wants you to listen but not the other way around.
9) They always squirm out of helping you when you need their help.
10) A selfish friend or lover never commits to anything unless they can get some benefit or favor out of it. They would never do anything selflessly for your benefit.

MM, I can spend all day trying to find things to help you. I think everyone has said it best……

Until you really recognize what is happening to you there is not much anyone can do. I would suggest that you read your threads again.