All my good feelings about last week's conversations have been wiped away today by five days of silence and my just being TIRED of not having the relationship I have invested myself in for the last almost seventeen years. I know these feelings are temporary but they are very very strong right now and I don't know what to do with them. If someone could please just tell me what to do with all the intensity of this feeling so I can let it go and be the person I want to be I would be so grateful.
I know I'm supposed to just get living but it's really hard to live on two separate planes at the same time when I have to interact with him for the kids each day (him asking if they want to talk, them talking about him, etc.) He is IN my life and I am so struggling to figure out how to live like this when on one hand he says he doesn't want a divorce, he cares about me, he cares about our friendship, etc., and then on the other he does so very little to show or support any of those claims. I mean, he'd rather shut down and not talk to his dad at all than clarify that the "process" isn't going and he doesn't even have a lawyer!
I do not know how to navigate all this today. I just want my equilibrium back.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
