I'm not very good at understanding things... from what you wrote I think you are saying that I just say "I AGREE" when I really don't.
If that is what you are saying... its not true.
If this is not what you are saying.. then I am even more frustrated and confused.
I do agree with ALOT of what has been said.... therefore I am choosing to be cautious in my approach with Xbf. I do not see him as a bad person. He is a selfish person. I do not see him as a conscious calculating and manipulating person..... some of you do because of your own bad experiences (I get that and am able to be aware of what to look for). I see him as a person who wants what he wants and isn't allowing me to steer him/us anymore. I see and hear from a person who was happy in many ways within our 20 year relationship but wants changes.
I agree that I am soooo wrapped up in him and my relationship status that I lose myself and forget my self worth. I know and am working harder at keeping this in check. <<<<< this is why I am moving forward with my agreement & purchasing my own house.
~~~~~~~
When I came back to this site & Matt suggested:
You need to remember your DB basics. They worked well for you as he is back to wanting a R with you again. Don't slip back into your old patterns.
What happened that now people think I need to run from him? Unlike sooooo many others on this forum He is not a cheater (he has been faithful), hasn't spent/wiped out our savings account (offers for me to use it ALL to buy a house & he will even offer what he can to accommodate), hasn't mistreated my DD (many children are abandoned) & yet no one tells them to run from those spouses... I don't get it.
And as of lately, is wanting to spend time with me to "see how it goes"... to see if we can be happy & have fun. To go on a vacation with. To spend time with his family.
???????????????????????????????????????
All I have been trying to do is to keep myself from slipping back to my old patterns.
Ohh... to add, and when I say I want to see him prove himself to me...I feel no one believes me.
Last edited by makingmagic; 10/03/1404:29 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
