AWESOME Starsky.... I agree. I think he is lazy (emotionally) as I have enabled it, has a HUGE commitment issue (which he wants to overcome... on his terms, and doesn't value me as much as I deserve... YOU are right!!
I am not saying anyone is wrong.....
a) I do need to REALIZE MY worth!
Somewhere along the threads I must have painted a bad picture of him. I know that I am not good with my words.... he is not as you all seem to suggest he is. I am open to hearing how he may or may not be. I am open. I am seeing his changes. I cannot say he is 100% of what I want from him.... yet. But, I do see some progress. I do not have rose coloured glasses on. I see him as a person who is just getting his land legs back, after being on such a stormy ship. He is testing the waters with me. I fail to see how he is any different than the others who come out of MLC. He is still selfish, trapped, and driven by our business. I see him trying to share with me. I see him looking for ways to get out of his trapped feelings (2yr plan). I see him stopping to smell the flowers (with me) and not be so "business" 24/7. These are 180's for him. I am not saying he is better, just trying to change & including me in the process. Last year at this time, we were barely speaking and there was nothing to think he was ever coming back. He has come a long way.
I am very skeptical and holding back. He needs to prove himself to me. I do remember how he has hurt me. I know, I still cannot BANK on his words. I want him in my life, IF he wants the same thing I do. (I am listening to what he wants). If he is not willing to give me what I need (on his term, without my push/demand)...then I will be OK & done.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
