What is best for me is... to start with getting my own house.
Somewhere along the threads I must have painted a bad picture of him.... he is not as you all seem to suggest he is.
Sunshine... he is not keeping me around until something better comes along. He has already decided to put forth the time/effort into us. He loves me and wants our 20 year relationship to work out. I am sorry that your situation didn't work out for you.
Matt... His cocky attitude is his charm. It is not out to destroy me. He just has confidence where I don't. He isn't "using" it to make me feel less... You have the wrong idea of him. It is due to MY own self worth, because of BD and separation that has caused ME to be weak. He is that in "love" guy. He does want to protect me & be with me & give me what I want. <<<< I know this, lived this and am starting to see it happen again (when I don't push). He wants to take care of me (include me in the business success) , he wants me to succeed. He wants me around his family again.
As for the business convo... I guess I should have indulged in that convo.
Pearl, as you are jumping in late on my thread... you are missing the part where I did give up on him & didn't give him the time of day for a couple weeks too. The nonsense stopped then. He suggested exclusive dating, and thats what we are doing.
He is very eager for us to take a vacation or two together so we can be together. He talks about how nice it will be (romantically) and to see how we get along without work.
He is asking for a natural slower progression of things & not jump back into "OLD US"
He is asking to take it slow. <<<< I need to DO THIS!
I agree & accept that I need to put myself first. Think about me & what is best for me & DO IT. <<<< I will work on this!
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As much as I don't want to buy a house without him, I also get excited and anxious to be living MY new life. I feel that this will help me have the confidence I need for myself. I feel it will totally enroll me back into a normal life that includes groceries, house cleaning, laundry (like everyone does). I won't have the time to "focus" on him. I will be BUSY... painting, decorating, entertaining, making dinner, being with my daughter in a normal setting again. HE will want to be a part of this.
Upon reading DB techniques... its my understanding that when reconnection begins again that the LBS should accept some but not all offers. To take it slow. Still GAL and to be patient.
I need to see how/where this goes with him, without putting pressure. As mentioned I have pushed in our past & its time I see what HE really wants with me. To do this, I must allow a time frame to allow him to come forward. To allow him to do the work. To allow him to prove to me. .... to win ME back.
Looking ahead, Thanksgiving & Christmas is a nice time to be spending with someone..... its a natural and loving time to be together. I do think that this loving/family time could help him come back faster.... this is what a friend suggested.
The way to do this is not totally "step by step" clear, other than to do as Michelle suggests by accepting "some" not all offers. Also, by putting me first and having other things to do.
I appreciate all the comments, and will keep myself on guard. I am not putting my head in the sand, as the old MM would easily do. What you are suggesting could be possible. Therefore, I will really watch him & myself & the dynamics. .... He is lucky to have me in his life. <<< I will wear this today!!
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He just randomly called... inviting me to go enjoy a small window of sunshine with him (getting rain later on) and go for a convertible ride. I didn't jump at the offer. I did say call me later about it. After yesterdays "pressure", I am surprised that he doesn't want to run away from me. I am obvious inclined to want to say yes and go... but be more protective of myself. Not be so "easy" and giving of my love & affection. If I were to say no...it would seem awkward & unnatural, as what possible real reason could I have for not wanting to skip work & enjoy time off. <<< this is where I could use some ideas.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
