That would be great, I can't stop looking at the damn text activity on Verizon's site and wondering what picture/video was sent. It's awful. Problem is, our bank account is shared, so even if she got a separate phone plan, the money would still come out of that account. The first step may be for her to get her own bank account.
Better: You set up your own account that she can't access, and you have your paycheck DD'd into it each payday. Then you transfer some set amount of money into yours and hers joint account to pay for the shared marital expenses. She sets up her own account, and does the same. Each of your contributions into the joint marital account should be in proportion to your income (say, 90/10 or 80/20 or whatever).
Then tell your wife what you set up. Tell her you are no longer willing to pay any expenses for anything associated with her affair, and tell her she'll need to get her own cellphone by 48 hours as you'll be shutting that down as well. "I will not use our family's money to pay for you to send half-naked pictures of yourself to other men. If you want to do that, you can pay for that out of your own account, and your own income."
Remove her access to any joint credit cards or lines-of-credit as well, and only tell her AFTER you've done so (make this move in conjunction with the banking moves mentioned above).
Continue to provide for your wife's basic needs, but not her wants and certainly not her affair. While you can't control her decision to flee from your marriage, there's certainly nothing that says you need to finance her flight.
Tough stuff, but I had to do it too. You need to protect your family's finances, and people caught up in what your wife is have been known to do some pretty crazy things.
Starsky
Did you ever do any of this?
I did, the first paychecks went into the private accounts this week, and I have a spreadsheet outlining monthly joint bills and how much each of us is to contribute each paycheck. We still have a joint phone plan, but the bill breaks out charges based on individual line usage, so I can still divide it up to where I am only paying for my phone and she pays for hers. I showed that to her so she understood what I was doing, and given last night's discovery, it was a good move, at least I'm not paying for that data usage...
We don't have any joint credit cards, never did, the only joint credit lines are auto loans and a mortgage, which I consider joint bills that she contributes to. I've probably been too lenient in paying for things when we go out, but we've played it off like I was taking her on dates (which sometimes they were). But that's not exactly funding an affair is it?
I think I'm failing in the patience department, but the one affair with OM2 is at least a year and a half old. I told her I didn't want to be in an open marriage with this stuff going on, but she's still denying anything other than a friendship and one time when OM2 spent the night (during a different deployment...pattern?). I'm going to the gym.
