Shakspr #3; Love's Labours Lost

[labug]

That long post you wrote had some real wisdom in it. Maybe you should hang it up where you'll see it and read it everyday. I used to do that when I wanted to be reminded of where I was trying to get. Sort of a roadmap. It helped keep me off the victim trail.

When discussing the situation two days ago, she mentioned that before marrying me, she should have thought things through more, determined my willingness to follow God more. That we started off on two different pages and never got on track. I intend to ask her to examine those facts and be honest with herself...her strong, stubborn self...does she want to do that again with a man willing to draw her away from a marriage relationship? This isn't DB. I know that. But knowing that this D is going to happen no matter what I do or say, I want to let her know that I remain concerned for her well-being. She is smart and emotionally intelligent enough to see truth when it's right in front of her.

Do you see your job as showing her the truth? Do you really know what her truth is?

I see no concern for her well-being in that statement. It seems more of the old Shake, the controlling but who wants the last word.

I'm not saying don't tell her that but really be honest with yourself about what your motive is. If she's meant to learn that lesson, she will and it will be without your help. I'm sure you know the phrase Let go and let god. As you said, she's intelligent enough to see the truth. What you don't get is, she's seeing her truth it just doesn't align with your truth.

If you really want to change, have the characteristics and insight contained in that strong post your wrote, your work doesn't stop when the D happens. The changes can be lasting or not. That choice is yours.