advice needed - please help

[stacey9]

I am feeling very emotional today. I think its the significance of the key. In July when I first saw him with the OW, I was so angry I told him I thought it was time he handed his key back. He was very angry and ranted about being good for paying the mortgage etc etc. I just didn't like the thought of him coming into the house when we weren't in, or worse showing the OW his family home.

Anyway he never gave me the key and I didn't mention it again. Seeing it yesterday placed on the sofa just seems so final. Also, it was 19 years to the day since we first moved into the house. Spooky.

Why did I even mention the key in the first place? Sometimes I do the silliest things. Its hardly keeping the road home paved and smooth to ask for it back is it?.

Everything is such a mess. He wants a D, the lawyers are involved and I am beside myself with worry. Can I afford to keep the house? Will we have all the upheaval and stress of D and moving home?

I've also been thinking a lot about the way I treated him during 2013 when everything first went wrong. I showed him no affection and acted as if I couldn't care less about him. I just wanted to act the same as he was acting to see how he like it. It was the worse thing to do. If only, if only, if only....

At least things cannot possibly get any worse.