still holding on - 4

[u-turn]

Keeping this up. We are having regular conversation that friends would have I guess - when she wants.

She says she feels very neutral right now (?) and I asked her if that is good for her. She said it's like she can breathe again, not drowning.

I don't know what this means. Just seems like she wants me to be a friend.

I look at the calendar and every month and I think about the time that has been lost with her. I am better with myself, but I'm always hoping for more.

I still want to dig deeper, but will stay back.