So, I just started to DB. On Monday, I realized I did want my husband back, and was willing to really give it a go instead of just saying "whatever happens, happens". I still get mad and angry about the things he did, but my love still shines through.
That being said, we have been talking the past 2 days and it's been nice. We don't talk about the divorce or our relationship. I have been initiating the texts the last couple of days, and decided that I was going to stop today and tomorrow (I will be seeing him this weekend). It was very hard, and I'm a rather clingy person, so I would want to text, but then text someone else. I also kept busy and took a long nap. I was shopping this afternoon when out of the blue he text me asking how everything was, and how our son was doing. It made me very happy. Maybe he was thinking about me, or maybe he wasn't. I'm just taking it as he was thinking about his son enough to text me to see how he was.
I'm not getting my hopes up and expecting this to work, but I'm expecting it to make me a better person. I love my husband, and he "loves me, but is not in love with me". We had problems in our relationship, but I see them as totally fixable. In fact, I was going really well, but then I found out he was having an affair.
I lost my mind and went crazy. This person you see now, posting about good things isn't the person I was a month ago! So, all ready making progress. I think she's still apart of the picture, but I know nothing will come of it. She lives in VA, and we live in TX.
He hasn't seen our son in a month, and I wanted to be mean and keep him away longer, but realized that wasn't what was best. It's best that we can have a great relationship. He's agreed to go to counseling, so I'm excited about that. I know, Michele doesn't recommend that, but I've talked with the counselor and asked her how she felt, and she seemed indifferent. She thinks that with good communication anything can happen. But my husband and I have different parenting styles, so I think we really need to go.
It's going to be a long haul, both mentally and physically. We live 4 hours away from each other. We are getting divorced where he lives, and I thought about moving back in with him to make it easier on me, but decided against it as it probably wouldn't be best for our relationship.
I am very thankful for this website, and my family. There are other divorce support groups I've been doing online, and I'm so thankful I found this! I truly love my husband, and I will not give up on us no matter what.
